Monday, December 7, 2009

Supersizing in Buffalo!

Svelte Donkey

I am sitting here wondering why some dogs eat like its their last meal while others stop when pleasantly satisfied. And, wondering why cant I be a member of the latter group?! Or better yet, if I could just have Donkey's metabolism. He eats six cups of food a day and yet retains his girlish figure! Lucky bastard!

I recently returned from a trip home to Buffalo where every day I ate like I was going to the electric chair.

Buffalo is famous for it's wings (YUM), but to it's homies, the city is also known for countless other tasties! After two years away from my grazing utopia, I found it necessary to shovel-in as many of my favorite hometown morsels as physically possible.

Here is just a sampling:

Chef's spaghetti parmesan - Going to need dynamite to clear my veins - but it was worth every bite!

Mister Pizza on Elmwood Ave - cheese, oh glorious cheese!

Bob & John's on Hertle Ave. My love for this tuna sub began way back in high school. I'd been known to ditch lunch often for a trip to Bob & John's! And after all these years the tuna sub is still as delish!

Watson's chocolaty clouds of heaven! I brought a bag back for a friend (we work together). Kim's shift didn't start until 3:30pm. When I gave her the bag of sponge candy, it was half empty. Or as I like think on the positive side. It was half full!

Miraculously, I could buckle my airplane seat belt on the flight to Atlanta. I literally held my breath in order for it to lock! It was a close call.

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Grattitude and Thanksgivingness

Taking a gratuitous moment for some thanksgivingness...
What I am thankful for: (in no particular order)

Friends (near and far, old and new, online and in person)
My Pups (past, present and future)
Animal Rescue Groups
My voice (written and verbal)
New experiences and Special memories
Buffalo, NY
Orange Chocolate
Lip balm
Flannel PJ Bottoms
Sleeping With Dogs

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Donkey Is A Repeat Offender!

Dearest Donkey,
The pillows in which your head rests upon are mine,
those in which your ass rests upon are your's!

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

No Thank You Tony Dungy, We Don't Want Michael Vick!

Dear Mr. Dungy,
You are a noble man, yet I assure you Michael Vick is not welcome nor wanted in Buffalo! Please take your unworthy cause and move on to another team.
Thank you,
Rachel, Blu, Donkey and Bella

Tony Dungy sees Buffalo Bills as 'dark horse' to sign Michael Vick

NEW YORK — Tony Dungy says Michael Vick could potentially wind up in Buffalo, which he says previously discussed signing the quarterback.

Dungy has served as an adviser to Vick since the Super Bowl-winning coach retired from the Colts after last season. Now a commentator for NBC, Dungy confirmed during the pregame show Sunday night before Philadelphia hosted Dallas that the Bills and Vick “talked originally” when Vick was searching for a team after serving 18 months in federal prison for running a dogfighting ring.

The Eagles signed Vick to a $1.6 million contract for 2009, with a team option for the second year at $5.2 million. But he has played sparingly.

“I told Michael to just worry about this year,” Dungy said. “It’s technically up to Philadelphia. If they want him back, he has to stay there. If they don’t, there are some teams looking for quarterbacks: Cleveland, St. Louis and Washington.

“But I think a dark horse is Buffalo. They talked originally. There was some communication there. I think that could be a good spot.”

Vick has not been the weapon for the Eagles some expected and he was in for only two plays in their 20-16 loss to the Dallas Cowboys on Sunday night. Vick said his focus is on helping the Eagles win a Super Bowl and not where he’ll play next year.

“It’s what I thought it would be,” Vick said. “I knew I couldn’t come in and do anything that would disrupt the rhythm of the offense and what we had going on here. I knew I was going to have to be patient.”

Bills starter Trent Edwards struggled this season before sustaining a concussion. Ryan Fitzpatrick, a career backup, has been the starter with Edwards out of the lineup.

Vick didn’t want to talk about potential teams for the 2010 season.

“Me and Tony talked about my position in the future, whether I’m here or whether I’m there,” Vick said. “We talked about it, but the primary goal is to help this team win the Super Bowl.”

Vick has completed 2 of 6 passes for 6 yards and rushed 12 times for 27 yards, mostly out of the wildcat formation.

He said he usually talks to Dungy at least once a week and receives “great advice” from his mentor. Vick, who has talked to churches and schools about the poor life choices he’s made, has enjoyed his second chance in Philadelphia.

“It’s been great,” he said. “Every day I wake up and I just thank God I have another opportunity to play football. That’s what I’m thankful for.” (article from:

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Ever Feel Like You Have A Monkey On Your Back?

Your morning adorable: Dog adopts orphaned macaque monkey in Thailand

Monks at the Tung Luang Buddhist temple in Thailand's Chiang Mai province recently began caring for a 3-month-old macaque monkey whose mother was killed by a hunter.

Helping them with the task of raising the young monkey is Tan, a resident "temple dog" who, Metro U.K. reports, has not only taken the monkey under his wing but even voluntarily shares his food with it! (story from:

Now MY monkey's name is Donkey and looks like this...

Imagine carrying THAT on your back!

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Who Knew Florence Nightingale Had Four Legs?!

After being out of commish for five days with a hideous, inhumane, bronchial infection, I must give props to my three Florence Nightingales... Blu, Donkey and Bella. That's right, in their own special ways, my three wicked mongrels took special care of their ailing, cantankerous servant.

Donkey's role was permanent bed-warmer, and by that, I mean the jackass' ass never moved from my side. The photo below shows my exact view for the past five days.

Blu, the patriarch of the group, remained calm, composed and kept it all under control from command central - his bed.

And Bella, well she only destroyed one pair of shoes and my cell phone cover. Not too bad for an 11-month-old, crazy, one-eyed beast.

So, Each time my persistent 73-year-old, Italian mom said, "Want me to come down? I hate it you are all alone," I replied, "I'm not alone, the dogs are here."

I wouldn't want it any other way.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Slept With My First Seven Years Ago Today

It was Seven years ago today when I walked into the Atlanta Humane Society and walked out with my first dog. Blu is now 11 years old and going strong. Had I not entered the AHS that fateful day, I would not know the joy and comfort of
sleeping with dogs!

Monday, October 19, 2009

NAME THAT ONE-EYE DOG: An Obsessive Chick's Game!

Okay y'all - it is official - I really am a non-committal, obsessive pile of mental mush. With that said, please help me name my newest dog, once and for all!

Bella Ruby or Bella Starr?

or Bella Stella? (the Italian combo for "beautiful star")

Friday, October 16, 2009

Keeping an Eye Out for Pumpkin

Was it a coincidence,
Bella devoured only one eye off her pumpkin.?
Genius dog or dumb luck?
You make the call

Monday, October 12, 2009

I Would Be A Skinny Bitch If I Ate My Dogs' Food!

Seriously people. I adore my three furry mongrels and want them to live long, healthy lives. Some would say I obsess about their food. So they are fed high quality, well balanced food and yet I cant get enough butter and cream in my system. If I could figure out a way to wheel around an IV bag of melted butter with a direct line to my veins, I would! I really do love fruits, veggies, whole grains and olive oil. I just cant seem to eat them.

Perhaps I really should eat the dogs' food... after all, the ingredients are human grade. Blu and Bella eat Innova, they seem to like it. Donkey eats Eagle Pack holisitc dog food, it doesn't smell too bad. And, I would become a svelte, smokin' hot bitch.

But then again, how can I possibly eat dog food, when all I think about is flying home to Buffalo for a slice... or six, of Bocce Pizza ?! And that is only the beginning...

(Thanks to my brother Justin for emailing pic from recent trip home - bastard!)

Friday, October 9, 2009

Beast of Burden Steals My Heart

FFS people! How is it the addition of a one-eyed, crooked-faced, under bite inflicted, lab pup can mess so much with my blogging, with my life? Well, I will tell you how. That 10 month old, unruly pile of poo-eating, actually everything eating, fuzzball is a crazed animal... a 60 pound beast of burden. I love her!

Monday, September 14, 2009

Lips To Hips

I will deal with my my more than ample backside tomorrow... today, I eat cake and corn.

Birthday cake for breakfast.
Cupcakes for lunch.
Movie popcorn for dinner.

Have to go now, uh, I mean waddle... it's time for some post-movie petit fours! Kate Moss has nuthin' on me.

-- Posted from my iPhone

Monday, September 7, 2009

Dogs, Dogs, Dogs - Yeahhh - They're Gonna Get Ya!

I am back and as crazy as ever! Some may say certifiable, I am not so sure I'd disagree. So, what's been keeping me insanely busy for the past two months? Dog #3 for me - #8 for the house.
Officially introducing the one and only... Bellarina Ruby Webb!

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Adios, Taco Bell Dog!

The Chihuahua known for Taco Bell's famous slogan, "Yo Quiero Taco Bell!" is muerte. The adorable Gidget died from a stroke Tuesday (7/21/09) at the ripe old age of fifteen.
Vaya Con Dios, little one.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Hide Your Dogs - Vick Is On The Loose!

Hide your dogs people - Michael Vick's legal sentence comes to an end tomorrow, which means the spineless coward is no longer confined to his Virginia mansion. That's right, the dog killer can and will saunter amongst the general public.

Is it a coincidence SICK, PRICK, DICK all rhyme with Vick? I think not!

I cant help but wonder if The NFL's commissioner will reinstate the felon and am repulsed by the mere thought of Mr. Sickprickdick throwing a football anywhere other than a prison yard.

Roger Goodell’s benchmark for Vick’s return to football is Michael Vick must show remorse.

If that is truly the case, we can all sleep at night knowing Michael Vick will never play football again.

Good luck to you, Michael.

May you now be forced to fight for your life.

*if interested - check out the article: Vick's legal sentence ends, more judgments await
posted on The Atlanta Journal-Constitution website.

Friday, July 17, 2009

OOOPS - I Did It Again!

Well, I couldn't say no to the one-eyed beast. That's right Bella... aka: Bellarina, Bella Boo, Bella Lagosi, Rebel-A, Maybel, Maybella, Hell's Bells, Belle, One-Eye... is now a member of my pack. I smile every time I look at THAT face - I figured that cant be a bad thing. And, the seven-month old lab of terror seems to bring joy to all she meets. I know I can use more joy in my world. I am guessing others can too. So the unofficial, one-eye, underbite, goofy ambassador of joy is here to stay.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Death By Chocolate - A Delicious Way To Go!

I stumbled upon this article on the CNN website and while a tragic accident, I can think of no better way to for my ultimate demise than in a sea of chocolate. Images of Willy Wonka And The Chocolate Factory are dancing through my head, esp. the scene where the big kid falls into the chocolate river. Yum! Read on...

(CNN) -- An employee at a New Jersey chocolate processing plant died Wednesday after falling into a vat of hot chocolate, according to a spokesman for the Camden County Prosecutor's office.

Vincent Smith II, 29, was dumping raw chocolate into the vat for melting when he fell in from a nine-foot high platform. He suffered a fatal blow to the head from the vat's agitator, a paddle-like mechanism used for stirring the chocolate.

According to the Camden County prosecutor's office, three other people were on the platform at the time. One was able to shut the machinery off quickly, but it was too late to save Smith.

The facility, owned by Cocoa Services Inc., is managed and operated by by Lyons and Sons.

The rectangular vat, which was 8 feet deep, 14 feet long and 6 feet wide, was churning a batch of chocolate for Hershey's when the accident occurred, the prosecutor's office said.

Friday, June 26, 2009

Who Says Two Eyes Are Better Than One?

Check out this looker! She may become the newest member of my family. Bella The Beauty is coming to scope us out on Sunday and if none of the other dogs eat her (mainly Tbonz the chihuahua) than this one-eyed wonder will stay. We all have afflictions - some are visible while others brew inside - this girl's are clearly worn on her face. I say who needs two eyes when you have a winning smile like this!

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

TV - What's That?!

I haven't had cable for the past five years and since the digital takeover on June 12th, I am now completely TV-less. That's right, no television. No local news. No CNN. No Oprah. No (gasp) Jon & Kate Plus 8.

Living in a house with seven dogs, I am accustomed to people looking at me like I am crazy, tell them I don't have a working television in the house and well they immediately take a step back, like its a contagious, incurable disease.

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Cup of Questions

The bigger question... How many drinks does it take to make my ass look small?

-- Post From My iPhone

Friday, June 12, 2009

Ever Feel Like You Have A Monkey On Your Back?

Having a monkey on your back could be...

pile of bills
pile of crap in house
dust bunnies the size of a gorilla
toxic job
aging car
unwanted stalker
a husband, wife, partner, significant other

In Ginger's case, it is a chihuahua named TBonz.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

CRYYYYY Baby, Dog and MOM - What a pierced nose got me!

15 years ago I pierced my nose, for the first time. When my mom saw my newly adorned nose, she stopped talking to me for two days. I took my piercing out (I was a wuss).

Fast forward 15'ish years.

Last week I pierced my nose again. And, if you ever want to get any body part pierced in Atlanta, I highly recommend Piercing Experience in Little 5 Points! They rock!

Back to mom. She saw my newly jeweled nose Saturday on Facebook and left the comment: "I HOPE THIS IS AN OLD PHOTO!" Oh I knew I was in trouble. We had a lovely conversation that same morning about everything but my nose.... until the end. The fiesty, almost 73-year old, only child, A+ personality, little Italian woman said she wasn't going to talk to me anymore - only through emails! HA, I laughed. We had already talked 45 minutes. I knew she was bluffing, but played along.

So Monday, this is what I received in my email from mom:
(along with the attached video were the words)

"This is me crying for your nose..."

Monday, June 1, 2009

Dude Proves Dogs Are Indeed Smarter Than Man!

Here is the difference between dog and man:
Blu and Donkey did not make the choice to cut off their stones. Egyptian dude not only chose to cut off his doinker - he did it himself! Read on y'all...

Egyptian reportedly severs penis for love

CAIRO (AP) — A 25-year-old Egyptian man cut off his own penis to spite his family after he was refused permission to marry a girl from a lower-class family, police reported Sunday.

After unsuccessfully petitioning his father for two years to marry the girl, the man heated up a knife and sliced off his reproductive organ, a police official said.

The young man came from a prominent family in the southern Egyptian province of Qena, one of Egypt's poorest and most conservative areas that is also home to the famed ancient Egyptian ruins of Luxor.

The man was rushed to the hospital, but doctors were unable to reattach the severed member, the official added, citing the police report filed after the incident.

The official, who spoke to the Associated Press on condition of anonymity because he was not authorized to speak with the press, added that the man was still recovering in the hospital.

Traditionally, marriages in these conservative parts of southern Egypt are between similar social classes and often within the same extended families — and are rarely for love.

Copyright 2009 The Associated Press. All rights reserved.

article appeared in USA Today

Whack A Kitty!

MUST see, friggin' cute story by CNN feature reporter Jeanne Moos!
hmmmm... wonder if I can play Whack-A-Donkey!

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Forfucksake - need I say more?!

Forfucksake is the word most used in my vocabulary. I am as known for FFS as I am for living with a "Donkey." I think its about time this versitile word and its abbreviation is officially added to the English language. Webster's - you can be the pioneers of the best word ever - add FFS to your dictionary. You won't regret it!

Here are just a few examples of the many uses for FFS:

When Donkey craps in the house.... FFS!
When the dogs run out of food at mealtime.... Oh FFS!
When TBonz nips at Donkey's wobbly legs... FFS TBonz, leave Donkey alone!
When work wants yet another piece of useless video sent out.... oh FFS, are you KIDDING me?!
When eating a catfish breakfast at Thumb's Up Diner ... FFS, that is good!
When catching glimpse of a delicious fireman.... FFS, he is HOT!

Forfucksake people... get the word out....lets make FFS an official part of the English language. Who's with me?!

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

a MUST have for everyone - especially dog owners!

Living in a house with seven dogs... this is a necessity, a requirement, a must!
That's right people - the coffee martini - it is perfect for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

Coffee Martini:
1 oz vodka (double for multiple dog owners)
1 oz coffee liquor
1 oz shot Bailey's Irish Cream

Pour in a shaker with ice... and drink till the barking in your head ceases!

liquor used: (suggestions only - any will do - trust me!)
grey goose vodka
starbucks coffee liqueur
baileys irish cream

Sunday, May 24, 2009

If I ever make it to 182 years old - please shoot me!

At an impressive 26 years old, Max is 182 in people years.... at 40, I am not half the dog he is!
Check out this amazing, spry old pooch!

Good Old Max

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Gray, Gray Go Away

Why is it Donkey's fur is luxurious, velvety silver, fabulous and on me the same color is dull and wiry?! Donkey is even starting to get silver on his silver, but Donks looks distinguished and handsome. Me? old spinster'ish and witch-like, but alas, if the hair fits....

Ha! Now here is where genetics played a wicked trick on me. My parents didn't become silver foxes until well into their 60's and even now, approaching mid-70's, they are both far from fully gray and are looking fantastic!

So when I passed the bathroom mirror today and was blinded by the glare of a silver strand... and then another... and well you get the point, I was in an instant panic! How could this be? Where did they come from? And when will they stop appearing? HELP!

But then again, I suppose I should count my silvery blessings, I could be bald like my brother! (love you, J-Man)

Monday, May 11, 2009


Collar up people!
I am not talking about becoming priests, or cops… I am talking about your dogs!
Get an identification tag and hang it around your beloved pet’s neck. It is not rocket science, in fact its elementary. It is simple and can cost as little or as much as you want. Sure you can get the finest designer leather collar for your pooch, or you can even use a piece of yarn. Whatever it takes - get your dog prepared for the outside world, in the event he or she becomes lost.

Now, I am clearly a magnet for the lost and confused. Just the other day, I spotted two canine buddies frolicking in my neighbor’s front yard. They were obviously lost. After wooing them with my charm and the promise of water, I lured them to the safety of my yard. Upon further examination, I realized they were naked. No collars. No Identification, Nada. Zip. Zilch.

After using my own dogs collars and leashes to wrangle the two escapees, I loaded them into the car and set off to scour nearby neighborhoods for their owner. It was obvious the two outlaws were somebody’s pets. After a couple hours of searching, I found the owner. He was relieved to have his four legged family members back and I was thankful to reunite the delighted threesome.

This entire ordeal could have been avoided with a simple ID tag. Had there been a name and phone number adorning the bewildered dogs, I could have delivered the precious goods in minutes.

There are tons of tags to chose from on the market, after all the pet industry rakes in an estimated 34 billion dollars a year. The ID tags can be ornate and custom made or you can get one in 30 seconds, from a vending machine at PetSmart. Just please do it.

I have multiple dogs, and while they would never wander from their laps of luxury, each one wears a collar with a tag. If old Donkey decides to one day hit the road, my cherished pooch could quickly be returned – all because he is properly outfitted with an identification tag

Get a tag today. Your pet’s life may depend on it.

Thursday, February 26, 2009


That's what my mom screamed, when a then six-month old exuberant Ellie expressed love for her canine-virginal grandma.

My response: "Then close your mouth!"

Ellie continued her amorous attack, grandma was speechless and I snorted with laughter.

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Ode To Diddy

Diddy was an amazing man.
He was my college roommate's father and my introduction to a true southern gent. Diddy spoke with an accent this yankee girl had never heard. It was a rich, twanging voice that charmed a native Buffalo, New Yorker with every spoken word. Diddy was a kind man who adored his daughters and wife. The Scruggs family was and still is one of the rare, intact families I've had the privilege of knowing. Diddy had a wonderful zest for life and an infectious sense of humor. He not only welcomed a displaced northern gal into is home, he did it with open arms and the same good-hearted teasing bestowed upon his own. He never missed an opportunity to joke with me and I loved it. Now I had never heard parents called Mumma and Diddy before and have not since. Heather's father will always be my first and only Diddy.
I wouldn't want it any other way.

Friday, January 23, 2009

Donkey Needs Help

I am feverishly searching for a 12-step program for Donkey's pillow addiction!

Monday, January 5, 2009

Donkey Takes Cover

Donks was happliy sleeping on my bed - buried alive... until I decided to snap this photo with my phone. Who could resist? Clearly, not I!