Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Forfucksake - need I say more?!

Forfucksake is the word most used in my vocabulary. I am as known for FFS as I am for living with a "Donkey." I think its about time this versitile word and its abbreviation is officially added to the English language. Webster's - you can be the pioneers of the best word ever - add FFS to your dictionary. You won't regret it!

Here are just a few examples of the many uses for FFS:

When Donkey craps in the house.... FFS!
When the dogs run out of food at mealtime.... Oh FFS!
When TBonz nips at Donkey's wobbly legs... FFS TBonz, leave Donkey alone!
When work wants yet another piece of useless video sent out.... oh FFS, are you KIDDING me?!
When eating a catfish breakfast at Thumb's Up Diner ... FFS, that is good!
When catching glimpse of a delicious fireman.... FFS, he is HOT!

Forfucksake people... get the word out....lets make FFS an official part of the English language. Who's with me?!

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

a MUST have for everyone - especially dog owners!

Living in a house with seven dogs... this is a necessity, a requirement, a must!
That's right people - the coffee martini - it is perfect for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

Coffee Martini:
1 oz vodka (double for multiple dog owners)
1 oz coffee liquor
1 oz shot Bailey's Irish Cream

Pour in a shaker with ice... and drink till the barking in your head ceases!

liquor used: (suggestions only - any will do - trust me!)
grey goose vodka
starbucks coffee liqueur
baileys irish cream

Sunday, May 24, 2009

If I ever make it to 182 years old - please shoot me!

At an impressive 26 years old, Max is 182 in people years.... at 40, I am not half the dog he is!
Check out this amazing, spry old pooch!

Good Old Max

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Gray, Gray Go Away

Why is it Donkey's fur is luxurious, velvety silver, fabulous and on me the same color is dull and wiry?! Donkey is even starting to get silver on his silver, but Donks looks distinguished and handsome. Me? old spinster'ish and witch-like, but alas, if the hair fits....

Ha! Now here is where genetics played a wicked trick on me. My parents didn't become silver foxes until well into their 60's and even now, approaching mid-70's, they are both far from fully gray and are looking fantastic!

So when I passed the bathroom mirror today and was blinded by the glare of a silver strand... and then another... and well you get the point, I was in an instant panic! How could this be? Where did they come from? And when will they stop appearing? HELP!

But then again, I suppose I should count my silvery blessings, I could be bald like my brother! (love you, J-Man)

Monday, May 11, 2009


Collar up people!
I am not talking about becoming priests, or cops… I am talking about your dogs!
Get an identification tag and hang it around your beloved pet’s neck. It is not rocket science, in fact its elementary. It is simple and can cost as little or as much as you want. Sure you can get the finest designer leather collar for your pooch, or you can even use a piece of yarn. Whatever it takes - get your dog prepared for the outside world, in the event he or she becomes lost.

Now, I am clearly a magnet for the lost and confused. Just the other day, I spotted two canine buddies frolicking in my neighbor’s front yard. They were obviously lost. After wooing them with my charm and the promise of water, I lured them to the safety of my yard. Upon further examination, I realized they were naked. No collars. No Identification, Nada. Zip. Zilch.

After using my own dogs collars and leashes to wrangle the two escapees, I loaded them into the car and set off to scour nearby neighborhoods for their owner. It was obvious the two outlaws were somebody’s pets. After a couple hours of searching, I found the owner. He was relieved to have his four legged family members back and I was thankful to reunite the delighted threesome.

This entire ordeal could have been avoided with a simple ID tag. Had there been a name and phone number adorning the bewildered dogs, I could have delivered the precious goods in minutes.

There are tons of tags to chose from on the market, after all the pet industry rakes in an estimated 34 billion dollars a year. The ID tags can be ornate and custom made or you can get one in 30 seconds, from a vending machine at PetSmart. Just please do it.

I have multiple dogs, and while they would never wander from their laps of luxury, each one wears a collar with a tag. If old Donkey decides to one day hit the road, my cherished pooch could quickly be returned – all because he is properly outfitted with an identification tag

Get a tag today. Your pet’s life may depend on it.